By: Annie K. Jung, MA

 

Parents sometimes remark either in a light-hearted or sarcastic way that someday their child or someone else’ is “going to need therapy” for one reason or another. But that same parent may also become conflicted when circumstances happen that make them consider honestly and sincerely: “Does my child need counseling?” Here are a few pointers that will help parents understand when counseling would benefit their child’s moods, behavior, and relationships.

 

Has there been a distinct change in your child’s environment in the past 6 months before your child’s mood, behavior, or relationships started diverting from his/her norm? These “big changes” could include:

·         divorce or guardian relationship change (could including military deployment absence)

·         a death or loss of family or friend or pet

·         new addition to family (new sibling, blending families, grandparent moving in, etc.)

·         change in school (location, teachers, repeating/skipping a grade)

·         change in custody agreement times

·         move to a new home

·         sudden financial changes 

·         witness or victim to traumatic event

·         evidence that substance abuse or misuse has occurred (alcohol, drugs, pills, nicotine)

 

If your child has begun to show poor functioning in a life area such as:

 

 (change in eating significantly more or less, sneaking food, and suspicion of binging or purging)

 

(energy level, not wanting to get up, sleeping changes, dropping out of hobbies, dramatic increase in physical exercise)

 

(grades show significant change, not keeping up with assignments)

 

(not wanting to hang out with regular friends, trouble making new friends, changing to new group of friends, wanting to be alone)

 

(not wanting to be with family members normally close to, showing aggression to family members)

 

(child has “shut down”- doesn’t want to talk to you any more)

 

(their overall disposition or attitude has changed)

 

There are times when parents may feel like they have tried what they know to do to help relieve their child’s problems, and they just don’t know what else to do. This is a frustrating time for a parent or guardian when you know your child needs more than you can give. That is the perfect time to call a counselor- both for your child’s sake and your own! Parenting is hard work!

 

Family members, school parents, neighbors, teachers, school counselors, pediatricians, dentists, coaches, summer camp counselors, and church workers have active roles in your child’s life. If adults who see your child often have mentioned to you that your child seems different- especially in one of the functioning life areas listed above- consider that as important! If they point out something to you, keep in mind they are doing so out of sincere hope that your child can have the best life possible.

 

Now that you know if your child could benefit from meeting with a counselor, the next step is finding one.

1.       Ask adults you trust if they recommend a mental health counselor who works with children, teens, and/or families. School administration, teachers, school nurses, guidance counselors, pastors, church/synagogue youth workers, and pediatricians could provide references. Also, if you know or a family that has benefitted from counseling, they could be a valuable resource for you.

2.       Check your health insurance to see the Mental Health Counselors listed in your providers. Call and ask which specialize with kids and families.

3.       Check your local phone book under “Counseling”, “Mental Heath” for child and family mental health counselors.